Breakfast Pains

Sometimes the chaos of life causes me to desperately miss my son Landon. I am currently on an eight day straight work schedule. Which in return means I’m going eight days straight with out my child. For those of you who know me or have read my blog, you can imagine that I’m not handling that very well.

This is a perfect example of pain that comes along with a broken home situation. But instead of sitting around being depressed about it, I decided to find a way to make it better. I decided I would get up before dawn, drive thirty minutes away to where my son lives and take him out for a nice breakfast before I head off to start the work day. I’m currently in day five of the work schedule, so this is a great time to make this happen. I am half way through the long work schedule and some time with my beloved child is just what I need to finish off the dreaded eight days straight.

I picked him up just as the sun was rising. It was so nice to see him. His bed head sticking straight up, his eyes still matted together from a hard sleep. His little nose bright red from the frigid November morning air.

When you're a parent, just a day away from your child can feel like an eternity, but when it's been four days since you looked into your child's eyes, it can be very painful. This is a feeling I know all to well. I’ve been a broken home parent for over three years now. And although I have gotten used to it, the pain still remains the same. The heart ache of being without your child never really changes with time like most wounds do. You kind of just learn to tolerate the pain. But because every week you go through the same emotion, the wound never really closes and has a chance to scar. It just remains there. Now I’m sure as your child gets older the wound may close and become a scar, but when your child is small it is not so.

As we sat at the restaurant eating our food, my arm around him holding him close, I found myself realizing that in some ways its harder to just see him for an hour for breakfast then to not see him at all, because this hour is just making me wish I didn’t have to go to work. That I could just take him home and spend the day loving on him and playing with him.

Sometimes to experience joy in our lives we have to go through some pain don’t we?

Although my heart was aching from the knowledge that in just a few short minutes my time with my son would be over for the day. I was warmed in my heart with the joy of sitting in that booth with him. Looking into his small eyes, watching him grin as he stuffed his mouth with pancakes. Thinking to myself, this is God's greatest gift to us. So many parents take it for granted that they have their kids at home. They complain and feel burdened by this amazing gift they are blessed with. But not me. I embrace this gift with a heart of gratitude. I'm so thankful for the small amounts of time that I get to teach and love this child of mine.

After dropping him off at the baby sitters an hour later, I started down the road in my car. Lips quivering, heart thumping, lump in the my throat and tears running down my face. I am reminded of how lucky I am to have even just small amount of time with my son today. I could have gone the day with out seeing him at all. So may you endure the pain of breakfast, may you get creative, may you find time to hug your kid today. Your priceless child.

by Shawn Ozbun

Submitted by Anonymous

Civility