The Power of Emotional Grit

In the spring of 2016, I had my annual eye exam to get my contact prescription renewed. My eye doctor then recommended that I see a specialist, because I didn’t do as well on one of the tests for a second year in a row. The specialist in turn ran additional tests and took pictures of the backs of my eyes. In doing so, he discovered that something was pushing on my optic nerve. I was completely surprised because I had no symptoms; no headaches, no noticeable vision issues, no motor skill or speech problems. His tests were limited though, so he asked that I have an MRI. I did so the Friday of Memorial Day weekend. The next day at 7:45 a.m., I got a phone call that I never saw coming. It was the eye specialist with the results of the MRI. He said, “Jennifer, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. It appears as though you have a brain tumor.” I was in shock. Disbelief. It was almost as though we were talking about a third party, because I didn’t have any symptoms. So I got out a pad of paper and a pen, asked lots of questions, took copious notes. But within seconds of hanging up the phone, I dropped to my knees and sobbed. My mind went from 0-60 as I thought, “Am I going to go blind?” “Am I never going to get married again?” “Am I going to die?” I was drowning in a sea of doubt as I succumbed to this visceral response. After about ten minutes though, I thought, “I can’t let this consume me.” “Actually, I won’t let it consume me.” So I got out my pad of paper and a pen again and made a list of reasons why it’s positive to have a brain tumor. My list starts with, “Maybe I’ll lose some weight.” “Maybe I’ll meet a hot single doctor.” Then it got a little more somber as I wrote such things as, “Great reminder to count blessings.” “Good excuse to reach out to people I haven’t seen in awhile.” I wasn’t in denial of my circumstance. I just wanted to have a voice. I later learned that gratitude can influence the reward center of the brain, by increasing “feel good” or neurochemical activity, such as dopamine. I’m not trying to imply that expressing emotion is bad, we all know that a good cry can be cathartic once in awhile, but what I am trying to show is that it’s possible to keep a situation from consuming you, if you’re open to the idea of being positive. I was diagnosed as having a meningioma brain tumor. It was the size of a golf ball and was situated between the outer lining of my brain, the optic nerve and carotid artery. The thought was that it grew slowly for years - Possibly decades. It’s the same type of tumor that Elizabeth Taylor, Mary Tyler Moore and Sheryl Crowe we’re diagnosed with as well. There’s uncertainty as to what causes them, but the numbers show they’re more prevalent in females. I was warned that during surgery, I could have a blood clot, stroke, onset of blindness or even die. The risks were fairly small, but they weighed on my mind the night before surgery. In an effort to make myself feel better, I made a list of upbeat music on my phone. The thought was that If upbeat music can motivate people training for a marathon or lifting weights, then why not someone facing surgery? As I showered the night before and morning of surgery, the sounds of reggae, dance music and old school hip hop took the edge off my experience and put a spring in my step. Again, I wasn’t in denial of my experience, quite the contrary. I just knew that if it was sink or swim, I was going to keep my head above water. I later learned that just like gratitude, music can increase the “feel good” chemicals of the brain. That’s why stadiums play music during sporting events. All it takes is a little “We Will Rock You” by Queen or the opening guitar riff from “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns and Roses to get people on their feet, clap their hands and dance. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from. Music can be your friend. My surgery would last for nearly six hours. After that I spent time in a recovery room and intensive care, before my own room for eight days. By the time my family could see me, they could see my face was swollen and bruised. My head was partially shaved and I had ten inches of stitches from the top of my head to my left ear. As they approached my bedside, they could tell I was laying in a drug induced slumber, so they weren’t sure what to expect from me in terms of cognitive abilities. So with that in mind, my mom began to lightly rub my arm. As she did so, she said, “Honey, it’s mom,” and I smiled. So they knew the wheels in my head were still turning. Rather than fear what may lie ahead, they began to reflect on how far I had come. The surgeon was able to remove half the tumor and radiation sessions over the following six weeks addressed the rest of the mass. Music also helped during the radiation sessions. The radiation techs allowed me to make another upbeat song list on my phone. It played from a docking station in the lab as I received each of the treatments. Each session would last roughly three minutes and I would “dance on the inside” as I distracted myself with the lyrics, rather than concentrate on the radiation going into my head. One time I was actually disappointed when the radiation stopped, because I wanted to finish a song. How crazy is that?! There were also other things that helped me feel better during the healing process and my six weeks of radiation. Random acts of kindness, the love of pets, facing fears and laughter all played important roles in my recovery. Just like gratitude and music, they can increase the feel good chemicals in our brains. The important thing is to be open to them. Perspective is key. Pets are used in places like nursing homes for people who are lonely, VA hospitals for people with PTSD and courthouses in Montana for kids who are afraid to testify on the witness stand. They can lower stress hormones such as cortisol and increase feel good chemicals such as dopamine. Laughter is used in hospice care centers to help people smile. I know it also worked for me. I’m happy to say that I’m a better person for the fears I faced and overcame. I’m also happy to note that my life is back to normal and that I have an enhanced sense of gratitude. While there are no guarantees that the tumor won’t some day return, I’ve chosen to concentrate on what I know, rather than what I could fear. Even though we can’t control the quantity of our lives, it’s empowering to know we can influence the quality of them. Courage isn’t necessarily the absence of fear. It can be feeling afraid and choosing to persevere anyway. The best things in life are free. That’s the power of Emotional Grit.

Submitted by Anonymous


Grit
Pass It On®
Pass It On®

  email

Your Comments

Here are some other inspiring stories you might like.
COURAGE
WINSTON CHURCHILL Winston Churchill was a transformational leader who exemplifies courage and an absolute refusal to give up in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Churchill had the ability to understand the needs of others, listen to those around him, and admit his mistakes while never wavering from his ultimate goal. ...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
WISDOM
JAHSEH O There are many heros I look up to, but Jahseh Onfroy helped me through the darkest times in my life. His music did not only help me but it helped countless people. When he spoke to us, it was always about growing and becoming better than what we are. I have learned many valuable lessons from him, and I constantly...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
FAMILY
PAT C Next to his faith in God, the most important thing in my Dad’s life was his family; my Mom who was the love of his life, his kids, grandkids, great grandkids, brothers, and sisters. One of the ways he made life better for all of us and left his fingerprint on our lives was through the use of what I like to call...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
CARING
TISH R My former wife is an amazing individual. She works as a behavior analyst, and has been helping injured others achieve a much greater quality of life. In one of my proudest specific memories, she facilitated a transition for a man who was in an ALF, brain-injured, from wearing diapers in a wheelchair to...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
COMPASSION
CHARLIE SCHULZ My son, Charlie, was an inspiration to many during his 19 years on this earth. When Charlie was in 5th grade, despite what we learned later was severe social anxiety, their strong sense of what was right led them to circulate petitions among their 5th grade schoolmates and write and present a statement (through...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
A BETTER LIFE
MARC W My father immigrated to the US in the 1950s with his parents when he was a small boy. Holland was still recovering from the Second World War, and opportunities seemed limited. Adding to the economic challenges, my father was the product of a relationship that was scandalous for the time: my grandfather came from...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
BEING THERE
BK SAINI SAINI My husband helped me since he knew me since 1975. He is there for me every single day. He is so kind all the time. He took care of me during any need except not when he is at the job. He comes at home if any emergency arrives. For God’s grace he was never called till today. I still remember when our second baby...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
VISION
FRANCES P Frances Perkins (born Fannie Coralie Perkins; April 10, 1880 – May 14, 1965) was an American workers-rights advocate who served as the fourth United States Secretary of Labor from 1933 to 1945, the longest serving in that position. A member of the Democratic Party, Perkins was the first woman ever to serve in a...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
COMMUNITY
MATTHEW M Matt was a shining example of what it meant to be a good person. He devoted countless hours to volunteering in the arts and helping his community and even more to the people he loved. He was brilliant, kind, funny, comforting, generous, ambitious, loving, witty, and so many other wonderful words that I could not...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
BRAVERY
HARRIET TUBMAN Harriet Tubman freed 300 slaves she was so brave that is why she is my hero
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
HELPING OTHERS
SAWYER A. After learning about children and families in the poverty-stricken villages of Zambia; a country in south-central Africa, Sawyer Anderson wanted to help bring clean, safe water to the villagers. At age 9, Sawyer wrote and illustrated the book, Water Works, which is published in America, Vietnam (in Vietnamese)...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
MENTORING
MISTY WELLS 5 Years ago Misty saw a need in children in Foster Care and she took action. For the past 5 years going strong Misty started a non profit called " A Reel Future" where she takes children in Group Foster Care fishing. She has single handed taken over 3,000 foster children fishing. She is showing them...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
LORI R. In 2012 Lori, along with her then high school age daughter Shira, began to keep their vehicle filled with pet supplies to hand out to the pets living on the streets of Riverside, CA with their homeless companions. They would give out pet food, leashes, collars and water so the pets would be fed well and kept...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
CHARACTER
MARJORIE W Marjorie W. grew up in a logging town in the mountains where she was expected to marry and spend the rest of her life taking care of her parents. After World War II, she was able to go to college and change her life's path. Despite leaving her little town, she never lost her core values. She was an honest,...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
KINDNESS
WENDY T Wendy was my wife of 4 years. We dated in high school, over 30 years ago. Eight years ago, we reconnected, and fell in love all over again. I quickly became attuned to why she was so special: Her kindness. I had never met anyone before, who showed as much kindness to everybody, as Wendy had. It wasn't one...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
PEACE
DANA W Grieving (Fly High Dana Wilson Jr.) On March 7, 2022 my only little brother passed away at home in his bed. This has been one of the hardest things to deal with. I dont think a day goes by that i dont find myself breaking down crying. I think my eyes are puffy did alot of crying yesterday..omg this is really...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
Where did your values come from?

We've all had people in our lives who have made a positive impact on us. A parent or grandparent, a sibling who was there for us, or maybe even just a guy who shines shoes for a living? Whoever they are, tell us their story so they can inspire us even more.

Tell Us Your Story All Everyday Hero Stories

We use cookies or similar technologies to process data when you visit our site. This data may relate to your use of our site, your preferences, your device, or other information about you. We and third parties may use this information for a variety of purposes, such as enabling the sites to function, to personalize your experience when using our sites, and for analytical purposes. Read our privacy policy and terms of use for details. close

Reject All Accept All