TEARING UP THE IOU

I am a wife and mother of three grown sons, and have been married to a great guy for almost 27 years. We've been in ministry together all these years, sharing the pain and ultimate healing of so many. But along that journey, I admit that I've encountered a few battle scars of my own.
Several years ago, a very dear friend went through a tough time in his personal life. Instead of seeing his pain for what it was, he chose to hurt others in an effort to make himself feel better. We must have seemed like pretty good targets, because he began to spread some pretty vicious lies about both of us. These things hurt me deeply, and try as I might, my anger only served to make me bitter. For four years my husband pursued healing in the friendship with this man—something that I felt he did not deserve—and although the man would not see his way to ever admit he'd done anything to hurt us, the anger and pain I felt began to fester in my life like a cancer.
I was very physically sick at the time, so ill with asthma and on so much medication that I could not function or take care of my family. I did not see a correlation between my unforgiveness and my sickness. I had to let this go. In fact, I felt very impressed to bake this man his favorite cake and take it to his home in a show of forgiveness and healing of our fractured relationship. I carried that fresh apple cake around for four days (yikes!). On day four I pulled into his driveway to do what I knew I had to do in order to be free.
As I was walking up the sidewalk, I heard a very strong inner voice tell me that I was to take all the blame for the break down of our friendship and ask him to forgive me! At first I wanted to stop dead in my tracks, turn around, get in my car, go home and eat the whole cake by myself! But courage rose up in me. I tore up the I.O.U.
The man received my cake. He did not apologize or share the blame. I thanked him and left. Ten days later I received a complete healing from asthma! I have been medication free for almost twelve years. A few months later, my husband tried once again to reach out to this old friend. Still he did not admit any fault but my husband and I were both free! Over time, the relationship has healed—not exactly the same, of course, but we are both wiser and stronger for it. I no longer hold onto hurt and unforgiveness. I want to live a long and healthy life and have joy and not regret. Life is so awesome!

Submitted by Anonymous


Forgiveness
Pass It On®
Pass It On®

  email

Your Comments
Becca K. MARCH 20, 2009
I totally understand the correlation between physical health and emotional health. When you hold something deep inside of you it will affect your health. I'm so glad you were able to realize that to move on as a happy and healthy individual, you had to let go of your anger. Your story is very inspirational.

Tsina D. from Philippines DECEMBER 22, 2008
I do feel you, a friend of mine also done like this to me, I felt so sorry for our friendship has to suffer a lot. I did reach out for that friend and it end up by always turning me down, it hurt a lot, cause I care about our friendship more than the pain and hurt that pushing me away. But then I realize, forgiveness is what matter. If my effort was in vain, forgiveness in my heart is more than enough. In time, the healing in my friend's heart will be blossomed with forgiveness.

Anonymous JULY 10, 2008
Forgiveness is such an important part of life. Everyone needs to be forgiven now and then for wrongs done because nobody's perfect. And although hurt is hard to heal it heals faster without grudges and bitterness attached. Thank you for the story.


Here are some other inspiring stories you might like.
HONESTY
TELLING THE TRUTH When I was about 13 or 14 years old, I got caught in a few lies, my father told me that if I ever find that I have to lie about what I was doing, then I was doing the wrong thing... I didn't reform my ways immediately but what he said stuck with me. I am now 66 years old and I've made a considerable effort...
SUBMITTED BY KANE FISCHER
Read Story
CREATIVITY
THIRSTY FOR ART I am a free lance artist. I paint murals in schools, most elementary schools. I design educational murals as well as decorative murals. But the important part is, the students paint with me. Nearly 20 years ago I was inspired by a local muralist to paint a mural at my kids' school. Once I got started, I decided...
SUBMITTED BY LORI LUTTIG
Read Story
INCLUSION
EZEQUIEL Happy #autismawarenessmonth everyone. This song is the culmination of my senior project at The Center School. My topic revolves around the Socioeconomic Status of people with autism and how it affects their education. This song, however, more talks about the subject of my topic and why I chose this topic. This...
SUBMITTED BY ELIAS CAPESTANY
Read Story
CARING
'TENACITY', IT'S MORE THAN CARING. When my mother finally acknowledged that she couldn't care for herself any longer, and agreed to come to Florida to stay with me, I didn't know how long this would be for, so it was impossible to prepare for the event In its entirety. I did however, make a decision to take her home and help to make her life as...
SUBMITTED BY SKY
Read Story
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
BREAKFAST COMMENTS! I was having breakfast one morning with my four year granddaughter Charlie in our local Cracker Barrel. A sounthern older lady approached us as she was leaving. She commented on how adorable my granddaughter was. She said, she had been watching our interaction with each other as we ate out breakfast. We had...
SUBMITTED BY LEANDRA STEELE
Read Story
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
CANCER AT 22? My name is Zahra* and I am a warrior! I am sharing my story in the hope that if you or a loved one has been recently diagnosed with cancer, it will take you beyond the and help you through the difficult days ahead. Exactly 4 months after my wedding, I started having killing headaches. I was in great shape...
SUBMITTED BY ZAHRA
Read Story
DEVOTION
STEP(UP)MOM When I began dating my husband, he had an 8 month old son. We married a short time later when baby boy was almost 14 months old. He has a mother, she tries to participate but usually falls short. I’ve always called him my baby., even though he’s now 8 years old. I’ve had 3 children since I’ve been married. When...
SUBMITTED BY
Read Story
COMPASSION
NIGHT TO SHINE On February 9, 2018, I was a volunteer at NFL star Tim Tebow's Night to Shine, a prom for developmentally disabled individuals. It was the most amazing, humbling experience I have ever been a part of. These beautiful spirits believe they can do anything and who are we to tell them they can't? They sing. They...
SUBMITTED BY JESSI MCINNIS
Read Story
CONFIDENCE
SELF- CONFIDENCE SPREADS CONFIDENCE As a high school student, I see so many different students living so many different lives. I see so much sadness from people with so much potential, and so much goodness. Overtime, I realized that a lot of this comes from a lack of self-love and self-confidence. I began watching endless ted talks about...
SUBMITTED BY TIA BJORNSON
Read Story
LIVE YOUR DREAMS
I AM NOT MY CIRCUMSTANCES I am Jearlean Taylor from Baltimore, Maryland. I am author, fashion model, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, mentor, and woman of God. My life has proven to be a journey of unexpected challenges. I developed a rare form of cancer (Rhabdomysarcoma) at 3 years old. As a result of cancer, multiple surgeries(too...
SUBMITTED BY JEARLEAN TAYLOR
Read Story
ACHIEVEMENT
MY SON WHO NEEDS FRIENDS While watching the pass it on commercial the similarity in her story matched my own with my 9 year old son. He is autistic spectrum as well. And he has no friends who are his peers. I am the only one that plays with him in the park. And it hurts so much. He offers to play with other children, but once they...
SUBMITTED BY KIMBERLY WILLIAMS
Read Story
OPPORTUNITY
NOT ONLY ME. There was a time where I completely gave up. A time where I thought I wasn’t worthy to live up to my dreams. I was wrong. I joined a school that helped me find myself. Helped me understand who I truly was, what I really wanted to be. They believed in me so much that I was completely connected with one particular...
SUBMITTED BY NATALIA DEPAZ
Read Story
OVERCOMING
MOVING BACK TO PENNSYLVANIA When I was 11 years old, I had to move for the third time from Northern New Jersey to here, in North Wales, PA. Moving was very stressful; moreover, it had been about eight years since I had lived in the Philadelphia area. I was scared of going to a new school, adjusting to a new environment, and meeting new...
SUBMITTED BY ALEX ZHOU
Read Story
CHARACTER
FAILURE Started as an average Asian kid, everything seemed normal and fun until I got to Grade 3. My grades were just dropping, my parents forced me to study harder and there were some tough nights where they would give me an hour long lectures which I hated, but had to deal with. Through grade 4, 5, and 6 I kept having...
SUBMITTED BY ETHAN WU
Read Story
MOTIVATION
MOTIVATION I motivate myself everyday to conquer school and the battle of life. Sometimes it can be a challenge but if you believe in yourself then you'll get through anything. My father motivates me everyday to make my day worth living. He told me that if I was brave enough that I could do anything in life. Be strong and...
SUBMITTED BY SIMAYA MURRAY
Read Story
HONESTY
HONESTY During life time theirs going to be that one time in your life when you feel like telling a lie one your afraid of getting in trouble or two your embarrassed so you hide the truth so you tell a lie it's never okay to tell a lie about something even if it's not important you shouldn't lie because their is always a...
SUBMITTED BY ALILIA OLIVER
Read Story
GRIT
THE POWER OF EMOTIONAL GRIT In the spring of 2016, I had my annual eye exam to get my contact prescription renewed. My eye doctor then recommended that I see a specialist, because I didn’t do as well on one of the tests for a second year in a row. The specialist in turn ran additional tests and took pictures of the backs of my eyes. In...
SUBMITTED BY JENNIFER FERNJACK
Read Story
HELPING OTHERS
ON MY WAY HOME I have always reflexively helped others. No matter how big or small the action, I am driven to help others; open doors, share umbrella, let others go first at the store if they have fewer items, and have received a prestigious Magnet Award for compassion. I was driving home, north bound on a 6 lane highway. A...
SUBMITTED BY CHARLIE O
Read Story
CARING
CARING In a ram-shackled house, far from the village, lived a young man who was mentally impaired. He was always seen in the village, working hard to fill his old bag with discarded items and scraps of food. The children of the village sneered at him; the elderly villagers looked down on him and scolded their children...
SUBMITTED BY KALIA
Read Story
PURPOSE
MADISON my sister was born with down syndrome in 1997 after being alive for a few days , sadly she passed away . She was going to be my younger sister , i was going to take care of her and love her endlessly. i feel like God gave me a purpose in life to work with individuals with down syndrome, to put my devotion that i...
SUBMITTED BY ANDREA SPHAR
Read Story
PERSEVERANCE
GREAT VALLEYS AND FALLS WERE CREATED THROUGH PERSEVERANCE . They say life doesn't give you what you deserve but what you fight for.Life has all that we need to live like gold underneath the earth that you need to extract from the mother earth.In extracting it there levels of difficulties which we encounter .As we go deeper the earth there level that are soft and...
SUBMITTED BY ERNEST MBEDZI
Read Story
CHARACTER
A STORY TO TELL So recently I got goosebumps. It was Friday, November 17. I was so pumped since it was the end of the week and we had planned to go out and eat for dinner. I went school like it was a normal day, but little did I know there was a shock waiting for me at school. There’s this boy in my band, Spanish and math...
SUBMITTED BY ANITHA
Read Story
HOPE
I LEAVE AND SURPRISINGLY RECLAIM MY CONFIDENCE I tendered my resignation 5 days before the end of 2018. I am worried because there is no other job offer. "Is that the correct decision?"I asked myself every morning. Tomorrow will be the 3rd weeks, and I can say it's the right decision. During these 3 weeks, I begin to brainstorm on how to replace the loss...
SUBMITTED BY LIM ZE JIN
Read Story
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
LUCKY FIN FOR THE WIN! Hello my name is Ashley and I'm 23 years old. I was born missing the lower part of my right arm. I grew up in a day and age where I never saw anyone like me. You didn't see people with missing limbs working in your local grocery store, on TV, on billboards, or even being confident just walking around. I never had...
SUBMITTED BY ASHLEY SHERMAN
Read Story
COMPASSION
VETERAN SMILES During a trip to a local veteran’s hospital with my dad in 2012, a Marine Corps veteran, I noticed that many of the veterans lacked basic toiletries and lived too far from the hospital for family or friends to visit regularly. I was only 13 at the time, but decided to make a 4‑H service project to bring...
SUBMITTED BY AMELIA DAY
Read Story
KINDNESS
MY MOTHER About a year after my mother died, a teacher questioned me about who she was. When I finally gave her enough information to identity my mother, the teacher said " Oh! You mean that *kind* woman! " I thought "what a great commentary on a person's life," and resolved to try to live so that could be said about...
SUBMITTED BY JOHNNIE (SUSIE) PRATER
Read Story
LIVE YOUR DREAMS
42 YEARS AND GOING STRONG Not a day when I have doubted my love for this girl. We got to enjoy our 42’nd Wedding Anniversary, while visiting the stunningly rugged and beautiful Mayan towns surrounding Lake Atitlan in Guatemala this past week. A half hour speedboat ride across the lake, got us to the artisan town of San Juan la Laguna,...
SUBMITTED BY ROB WATCHER
Read Story
CARING
MY EON I have a 3 year old who has autism his name is Ezra and he is a amazing little boy but everyone who meets him and learns he has autism tells me there sorry and treats him so different and tells me how sorry they are and he is a amazing little boy it's hard to get people to understand he's just like everyone else...
SUBMITTED BY ANGEL STEWART
Read Story
COMPASSION
ALWAYS STRIVE TO SHOW AND GIVE COMPASSION. ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN SHOWN NONE. My entire life, I had to work, and work hard to avoid being the brunt of rude and Difficult bullying. Even from home, even from my Own Mother. Even at 63, I'm still spurned by my blood Family. It's Sad to Hurt a Child so badly that they have a hard time forgetting the Same Family, and School bullying. Especially...
SUBMITTED BY HEIDI A ROBINSON
Read Story
LOVE
A BUS CONDUCTOR Well am not that much good in english..But I will try my best.. One day I get into a bus.Conductor came near by me.I gave him the money.And I said the name of the place.But conductor got angry.And said, "Are you blind..you didn't saw the bus board?This bus will not go to that place."I really felt sad.And I...
SUBMITTED BY LOIS GEORGE VARGHESE
Read Story
PASSION
MY PASSION OF MUSIC! I was a kid in the 4th grade and I been inspired by people playing the flute. So when I started 4th grade, there was a program in my school where you could learn an instrument and play in the band. I signed up as soon as possible because the places where being taken away fast so I really wanted to play the...
SUBMITTED BY IBRAHIM ALADDIN
Read Story
APPRECIATION
THE DAY I LOSS HER Do you remember the last time you spoke to your mother? If you do, when was that? Do you remember the last time you expressed how much you love her? If so, when? I am unsure if it was only me but we tend to have this habit of shying away from the expressing how important our mother or our father to us. I...
SUBMITTED BY MICHELLE
Read Story
ENCOURAGEMENT
YOU CAN DO IT! Growing up i remember my weekly "career" announcements. Anchor woman, flight attendant and teacher, among many, many othrrs. Each week i heard " you can do that. You will be good at that". That was my mom and dad. Throughout life, i learned that not everyone believed in me the way my mom and dad believed in...
SUBMITTED BY JULIE
Read Story
FORGIVENESS
HIT BY A TRUCK WHILE STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK 3 and 1/2 years ago, I was standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross the street when a pickup came through the intersection trying to turn right. His rate of speed and blood alcohol caused him to go up on the sidewalk and hit me. I am a nurse and have always wanted to be a nurse. I loved my job. The injuries I...
SUBMITTED BY KATHY SCHIFFER
Read Story
COURAGE
STEPPING OUT OF COMFORT ZONE My name is Ainne Olar,15 years old and I'm in 10th grade of High School. I was born in Philippines and I spent most of my childhood there, then we moved in Canada. It was my first time moving to another country, so I was a very shy student for a little while back in my school in New Brunswick. New Brunswick...
SUBMITTED BY AINNE OLAR
Read Story
FAMILY
FAMILY Family has always been of great importance to me and something that I value very strongly. I grew up in an all-girl household with my mom and older sister while my dad and two older half-brothers live in Italy. Living in a household just us girls has brought us together and made the bond between us very strong....
SUBMITTED BY JULIA BORGHI
Read Story
Where did your values come from?

We've all had people in our lives who have made a positive impact on us. A parent or grandparent, a sibling who was there for us, or maybe even just a guy who shines shoes for a living? Whoever they are, tell us their story so they can inspire us even more.

Tell Us Your Story All Value Stories