I am 15 years old and I have clinical depression. It makes every day seem impossible and I have no support, no one to encourage me to try and get better. I'm a big LOTR fan and one day I was having my usual marathon, only this time I wasn't with friends and therefore wasn't distracted. I could take in all of the movie. At the time of Boromir's death, I burst into tears at the realization I'd made. While yes, the One Ring had poisoned his mind, instead of worrying about it, he spent the rest of his energy in trying to save two Hobbits that, to me, embodied friendship and perseverance.
Yes, he died. The hobbits were taken.
But that's not the point; the point is that even when his vision was black and his mind cloudy, even when he knew his death was inevitable, he tried.
Watching that scene made me want to try. Because even though my depression has ensnared me at such a young age, it doesn't have to define me. I don't have to be known as the insecure girl who was destined to fail. Some people believe that some things were meant to be broken; those people are wrong. Even if you don't succeed, it's the effort that makes a difference in all facets of life.
So maybe your boyfriend broke up with you. Maybe you failed your midterms. Maybe you didn't get that promotion. YOU TRIED. It's the journey, not the destination. Just be happy you took that chance. My 15 years have been lived inside a shell, no risks taken and no life lived. No matter how many times my teachers encouraged me to branch out, I couldn't. Society was too harsh for me.
15 years. Wasted.
All I've ever wanted is to be happy. But my brain, the chemicals I can't control, tell me happiness is impossible. Boromir seems to disagree.
My depression isn't some ring I can toss into a mountain, but it is an evil thing that can be resisted, if I just have hope. If I believe that this disease is detached from me, then maybe I can overcome it. Or I can die trying. I used to think I'd never get past this pain, that I'd be alone in my forties while everyone else moved on with their families.
THE POINT IS, never sell yourself short. Take it from me, you'd be surprised about how well you DON'T know yourself. "Lift up your eyes, discouraged one. When you feel like giving up, when they say it can't be done, it's up to you to show them why they're wrong."
Submitted by Anonymous
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