A Surrogacy Journey... NULL

If you look up the definition of 'compassion' in the dictionary you will find:

-noun; a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Compassion is what brought me into my surrogacy journey. I don't consider myself as an angel nor do I think what I done was an act of unselfishness. I did eat the Krispy Kreme doughnuts when I felt a craving for them (and everything else as long as I'm being honest)! I'm a very thick headed person, as many of you can attest to and very determined to see things through when I get an idea in my head. Even if it was painting almost the entire inside of my house while pregnant!

The day I met Gretchen and Tyler is a day that I will most certainly not forget. They were still getting over the loss of their third baby with their second surrogate and were both very fragile. It was an emotional meeting for all of us. I had told my husband, Alex on the way to meet them that I hoped I wouldn't cry. But to see their faces and to hear them speak of such unimaginable loss was heartbreaking and I ended up crying right along with them. I was determined that I would see them become parents. I told them that that very day. I was willing to give them all the time that it would take. Six months later after our first transfer, we would find out that one of the two embryos put in stuck! Of course I was ecstatic however it wouldn't be until much later that I would see the sigh of relief on Gretchen and Tyler's face. Every big mile stone we overcame was a huge relief for all of us but it would still be some time before Gretchen and Tyler would let their guard completely down. With all they had gone through I prayed that I could finally give this couple what they've waited so long for. The pregnancy was better than textbook. As with my own three, who must have left the rules for this little one in utero, he gave me no troubles.

So anyway, with all of that now being said'On October 10th, Zachary Frederick 'Fred' finally entered the world! He was born at 7:15p.m. Weighing in at 6lbs. 12oz. (little thing), was 20 inches long and absolutely beautiful! He was out after just 3 hours of labor. Alex had to fill me in on the details because when I came time to push I kept telling everyone I needed to just take a quick catnap. I would later find out that it was because my blood pressure had suddenly dropped to 52/30. But apparently I managed to get him out within 15 minutes and made it through just fine. Alex of course, was by my side and Gretchen and Tyler were in the room as well. It was quite an experience for them to see the birth of their son. And I was so happy to finally see them be at peace. The day had finally come. They had made it to the end. They were very overwhelmed with emotion. It was such a blessing for me to be a part of it all, to experience that with them and to know that I had something to do with it. It's an emotion I can't put into words exactly but my heart was overjoyed.

Shortly after he was born, Gretchen and Tyler brought Zach over to me. What a sweet boy. It was a little funny to see this little being that I carried for nine months look nothing like me or Alex. But to hold this little guy in my arms and see what I helped create was absolutely overwhelming. He was perfect. I even commented to Gretchen that it would have been a lot easier on me if he came out ugly. We both laughed and shared a few tears.

The kids came shortly after to meet 'Fred', which by the way is going to be very difficult for me to give up calling him. Natalie and Isabel thought he was cute. Nicholas was a little unimpressed which was a nice relief to me. He just wanted to know why I was still fat and when I'd be home. Gotta love honestly!

From day one all of the children knew that this was not our baby, not a sibling, but 100% Gretchen and Tyler so it wasn't a big concern for them. I was a little worried about Nicholas but life seems to be going along as normal for him. I did ask him today if he thought I was still fat. He lifted my shirt and thought about it for a minute then told me no. So happy to hear that!

The next day we said our good-byes (for now) with Gretchen & Tyler. We took lots of pictures and gave lots of hugs. They let Alex and I spend some time alone with Zach so that I had a chance to have my own personal good-bye with him. I'm so thankful I got that. Then we shared more hugs with Gretchen and Tyler and left the hospital.

I was anxious to get home to my own kids and get back to my life not to mention my body. It's now been one whole week! I'm glad to say I've only had a few major melt downs so far. I had prepared myself as best I could mentally but knew the hormones would have their way with me. Alex has been an absolute saint though all of this. His patience, understanding and unconditional love remind me of just some of the reasons why I married him.

This was an amazing experience for me, largely because I'm adopted. My birth mom chose to give me life. For me, the smallest gift I could do for someone else in my lifetime was to pass that on. So it is the 'Pay it Forward' theory but more importantly the act of Compassion. My kids have witnessed not only compassion but commitment, dedication, inspiration, determination, kindness and love. They're lessons I hope they won't soon forget.

I can walk away from this knowing that I did what I set out to accomplish. I'm no angel just a girl who was on a mission. I do believe that it is only with the help of all my angels that I am able to sit here and write of the wonderful journey I've just come from today. I can honestly say that I would do it again in a heartbeat. To give Life to a couple but more importantly a Lifetime has been amazing!

Submitted by Anonymous


Compassion
Pass It On®
Pass It On®

  email

Your Comments
Here are some other inspiring stories you might like.
PEACE
DANA W Grieving (Fly High Dana Wilson Jr.) On March 7, 2022 my only little brother passed away at home in his bed. This has been one of the hardest things to deal with. I dont think a day goes by that i dont find myself breaking down crying. I think my eyes are puffy did alot of crying yesterday..omg this is really...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
CARING
TISH R My former wife is an amazing individual. She works as a behavior analyst, and has been helping injured others achieve a much greater quality of life. In one of my proudest specific memories, she facilitated a transition for a man who was in an ALF, brain-injured, from wearing diapers in a wheelchair to...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
LOVE
AMARA OKEKE My hero is my late mother Since 2000, she fells sick. She was diabetic, all my life I have taken care of her , I abandoned my school, my Visa and career to taken care of her , after 19 years of my sufferings she died last two Saturdays..I was actually 6 years when I started cooking, doing house chores for my...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
COMPASSION
CHARLIE SCHULZ My son, Charlie, was an inspiration to many during his 19 years on this earth. When Charlie was in 5th grade, despite what we learned later was severe social anxiety, their strong sense of what was right led them to circulate petitions among their 5th grade schoolmates and write and present a statement (through...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
WISDOM
JAHSEH O There are many heros I look up to, but Jahseh Onfroy helped me through the darkest times in my life. His music did not only help me but it helped countless people. When he spoke to us, it was always about growing and becoming better than what we are. I have learned many valuable lessons from him, and I constantly...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
BRAVERY
HARRIET TUBMAN Harriet Tubman freed 300 slaves she was so brave that is why she is my hero
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
HELPING OTHERS
SAWYER A. After learning about children and families in the poverty-stricken villages of Zambia; a country in south-central Africa, Sawyer Anderson wanted to help bring clean, safe water to the villagers. At age 9, Sawyer wrote and illustrated the book, Water Works, which is published in America, Vietnam (in Vietnamese)...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
STRENGTH
ANDRE D On May 2, 2014 Andre' MY HUSBAND at the age of 42 suffered a massive heart attack, he was without oxygen to his brain for several minutes. It caused an Anoxic Brain Injury and other problems such as cortical blindness, seizures and he is bedridden for the rest of his life and resides in a nursing home. The...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
ACHIEVEMENT
AXANA SOLTAN Axana’s steadfast commitment to service made her not only an international voice of activism, but also a champion for the minorities. For the year of 2018-2019, Axana was selected as one of the United Nations finalists to serve as the U.S.A Youth Observer at United Nations Headquarters. The following year, Axana...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
LORI R. In 2012 Lori, along with her then high school age daughter Shira, began to keep their vehicle filled with pet supplies to hand out to the pets living on the streets of Riverside, CA with their homeless companions. They would give out pet food, leashes, collars and water so the pets would be fed well and kept...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
CARING
BETTY DRUCK I want to tell you about my grandmother,she is in her late 50's,she has spent everyday of her life caring for everyone she meets.She has had multiple surgeries and other problems of her own and yet she has given everything for her family,she has spent every christmas with my dad,even when she was in other...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
FAMILY
PAT C Next to his faith in God, the most important thing in my Dad’s life was his family; my Mom who was the love of his life, his kids, grandkids, great grandkids, brothers, and sisters. One of the ways he made life better for all of us and left his fingerprint on our lives was through the use of what I like to call...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
KINDNESS
WENDY T Wendy was my wife of 4 years. We dated in high school, over 30 years ago. Eight years ago, we reconnected, and fell in love all over again. I quickly became attuned to why she was so special: Her kindness. I had never met anyone before, who showed as much kindness to everybody, as Wendy had. It wasn't one...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
MENTORING
MISTY WELLS 5 Years ago Misty saw a need in children in Foster Care and she took action. For the past 5 years going strong Misty started a non profit called " A Reel Future" where she takes children in Group Foster Care fishing. She has single handed taken over 3,000 foster children fishing. She is showing them...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
BEING THERE
BK SAINI SAINI My husband helped me since he knew me since 1975. He is there for me every single day. He is so kind all the time. He took care of me during any need except not when he is at the job. He comes at home if any emergency arrives. For God’s grace he was never called till today. I still remember when our second baby...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
KINDNESS
MOTHER TERESA Mother Teresa was born in Albania and left her home country very early in life. She lived in Ireland to learn English, and ultimately went to India where she resided until her death. She was a beacon of hope for many. She did not look to caste, class, religion, skin color, or any other identity to separate...
SUBMITTED BY ANONYMOUS
Read Story
Where did your values come from?

We've all had people in our lives who have made a positive impact on us. A parent or grandparent, a sibling who was there for us, or maybe even just a guy who shines shoes for a living? Whoever they are, tell us their story so they can inspire us even more.

Tell Us Your Story All Everyday Hero Stories